So it's been fairly hot as of late here in Canadas largest and therefore most important city. Today it's supposed to go up to 35 degrees without the humidex. Meaning that with the humidex it will probably go up to 57. And with the heat brings the hate and I have a complaint about one thing in particular. DUDES WITHOUT SHIRTS. Seriously man, put a fucking shirt on. I don't care if its so hot you can fry some grits on the sidewalk, just put a damn shirt on! I don't want to be first hand witness to your jungly fuckin back hair, OR your rotund man-boobs, or even your big fucking beer belly bouncing around and hitting me in the face even though I'm across the road from you.
Go to Wal-mart, spend 3 dollars and get a 100% cotton shirt, and wear the fucking thing. I really don't care how hot it is; just put a damn shirt on! Yesterday I saw the fattest man on earth driving around without a shirt. He had his hands behind his head relaxing because he was steering the car with his fucking belly! What's up with that shit?
If you are going to pass out from the heat if you don't take your shirt off, here's a tip - move somewhere cold. Or drink some damn water. Do anything but subject me to the eye-blinding sight of your nasty-ass torso waddling down the road towards me. I don't need that, shit! It's too hot for that shit! I have no A/C in my car, and I'm sweating like a fat party animal too! But I will never take my shirt off, except at acceptable places, like the beach or the pool. That's it!
PUT YOUR FUCKING SHIRTS ON!
Gary's Fantastic Blog Top 5 HATE List 59th Edition
5. Owen Wilson. (I supposed I should be impressed that someone whos been hit in the nose with a truck can have a successful career on camera, but I'm not.)
4. The Wayans Brothers. (Way to fucking discover the special effect of masking like 15 years after it was invented. Whats next? A fucking movie about a guy that can fly around like superman? Fuck you both.)
3. Mr. T. (You shed your gold chains after witnessing the destruction of Katrina. Yeah, maybe if you pass enough of those around, youll help the people that lost their fucking houses by letting them wear your chains.)
2. Harry Potter. (Daniel Radcliffe, youre like 37 now, so I find it hard to believe youre still in some damn school for warlocks and shit. Luke Perry from 90210 couldnt get away with it, and neither can you.)
1. Spanish Mountains. (James "undeserved" Blunt has just bought a mountain in Spain so he can live there to get away from all the hassles of fame. Fucking good, except you shouldve done that years ago, so the earth wouldn't have been infected with your hollow, meaningless dribble that you spew like a baby without his baby bib. Bye bye, fuckbag, and never come back.)
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