Fashion Scares

I'm not going to sit here and type out a diatribe against how the fashion industry is the main perpetrator of eating disorders, poor body image and low self esteem.

Even though it is.

Im not going to sit here and tell you that I find most models and supermodels to be the ugliest creatures on the planet, both internally and externally.

Even though I do.

I wont even mention the fact that only 1% of the female population could ever be a fashion model, or have the body type suitable for said profession.

But they do.

This blog is about beauty. Sure, everybody says that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Well, I am the beholder at this moment. Let me tell you who is beautiful. Anybody without unnecessary plastic surgery. Anybody thats smart enough not to buy in what the fashion industry shoves down our throats. Anybody that looks at a mannequin and wonders aloud do I know anybody that has a body shape like that?

I was watching Canadas Next Top Model, and there is this girl whos worried about being too fat and she was a size 2 instead of a size 0. I didnt even know there was a size 0, and I didnt even know there was a size 00. Whats that? Youre so thin you dont exist? Heres a tip, real men like women that exist. If you aspire to look like that, youre really only appealing to men that are closet homosexuals. They love girls that look like guys, because it would be too difficult to admit to themselves that they are in fact gay. Theres nothing wrong with liking guys, but I like women! Fucking look like a woman, already! Im a raging, flaming heterosexual, and the fashion industry is just not doing it for me. Wake up and smell the cheeseburgers, fuckwads! If you are super thin and look like an alien, youre idolized. We dont idolize any other 1% portion of the population! I want to make it my mission to destroy the fashion industry. Im going to start my own fashion industry, with actual women.

Gary's Fantastic Blog Top 5 HATE List Fashion Edition


5. Angelina Jolie: (You were voted best looking woman in the world, but it looks like you were punched repeatedly in the lips and then had your head stretched out my two camels.)

4. Sharon Stone: (I wish there was a computer program that could generate what your face would look like without the years of face surgery. You look fucking younger in Basic Instinct 2 than you did in the first one!)

3. Janice Dickenson (You epitomize what is disgusting about the fashion industry. You look like someone slapped some clay on your face, then asked a five year old to mold that face into something that resembles a human being.)

2. Jennifer Lopez: (Its amazing how somebody with absolutely no talent whatsoever can be so wealthy. Only in America. Do people even know what your largest source of income is? Your movies? No. Your music? No. Its your fucking clothing line with its 300% markup.)

1. James Blunt (Of course, you dont really relate to the fashion industry. But that doesnt mean youre not number one on every single one of my hate lists. Please die.)