So I had the day off today to attend my graduation. Yes, dear reader, yours truly has donned the mortarboard hat and the silken gown and walked down the aisle to receive the lambskin parchment that is apparently the truest representation of achievement in this crazy world.
Haha, fuck that! There was no hat, the gown smelled like a mixture between sweat and Italian dressing from the previous ceremony that morning, and all we got was a piece of paper. We all get in line, and when we got on stage they gave us this piece of paper with nothing on it so we would stick around for the whole ceremony. There were 1500 people graduating, in alphabetical order. I guess they did it so that Zoltan Zumeni would have somewhat of an audience as the 2 hour ceremony wound to a close. They didn't open the room that held the REAL diplomas until the whole thing was over. People left anyway, lining up outside this room, ready to bust in, grab their paper and bust out. Or at least that's what I was ready to do. But no, of course it didn't go so smoothly. We had to fill out an "alumni card", where you had to put your name/address/phone number/where you work. Now I knew about this before hand and filled in Alex's phone number. Plus I put my address as 123 Fake St. Those bastards are never going to hunt me down for some contribution in the future.
Schools are all big frauds because of this. They have you pay inordinate amounts of money while you go there, then expect for you to stick out your teet for them to suckle off of for the rest of your life. Plan on being successful? Don't let them know, or they'll send their goons after you, because legally there are allowed to hold you upside down and shake you and keep whatever falls out of your pockets. I'm glad school is over!
FUCK YOU ZOLTAN!
Top 5 Ultimate "Its been a hatin month!" Hate List
5. P-Diddy – (Dude, you're a total fraud. People probably look at you and say, what do you do again? And then you say "I remind people about Biggie", and then they say "oh yeah.")
4. Madonna – (She's a child thief! Get her! She's easy to spot with her fake-ass British accent!)
3. Guy from My Chemical Romance – (The kid from Children of the Corn grew up and is now spewing screamo instead of terror in a small town)
2. Fab-oh-loose (because that's how you spell your name. It's like calling yourself "mailman" but spelling it "quailman". Stop perpetuating poor spellin!)
1. James Blunt (lets see, what's in the news about this guy…lets see…Someone referred to his song as the next winner in the playschool "My First Song" contest. Yeah, I like that, that sounds right. Please die.)
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