John Stewart is Dead!! (to me)

I may get a lot of flack for this, but I'm going to say it. Jon Stewart is now dead to me. It's true, I can't watch his show anymore. Maybe it's all the new and horrible wankjob correspondents, or just the fact that it's really just the same old nitpicks about politics time after time, but I can't really watch the show anymore. If there are funny segments, I can catch them online or while flipping through the channels in the afternoon, but no more does my PVR set to record his show. Perhaps there is also another reason for this changeover, and that may just be the creation of a slightly superior show set in the time slot immediately after his. That's right - the Colbert Report.
I won't sit and rant to you all about why I prefer this new breed of satirical programming, but perhaps I just find the whole "conservative view" on things much more hilarious. Even if that view is entirely faked. For an example of the funny, not from the show, but from Colbert himself, check out this link:
http://dailykos.com/storyonly/2006/4/30/1441/59811.
Here you'll see why I find Stephen Colbert Funny. This is a live speech performed in front of the President and his wife and the rest of the cabinet at the White House Correspondents Dinner. How they let him in to speak is beyond me. But enjoy!

Gary's Fantastic Blog Top 5 HATE List 3rd Edition

5. Black Cherry Vanilla Coke. (There used to just be Cherry Vanilla Coke, but now that theyve made the cherries black cherries, it tastes disgusting. Did they burn the berries and make them charred? Because thats what it tastes like. Garbage!)

4. People who are wearing scarves right now. (Seriously, its 20 degrees Celsius outside. In Canada thats considered warm. How are you going to wear a damn scarf not just around your neck, but ACROSS THE ENTIRE LOWER HALF OF YOUR FACE, and then bunker down as if facing some sort of apocalyptic blizzard??)


3. People in the elevator. (Heres a tip, when you get on, look at the damn numbers that are lit up. If there is a number that is LOWER than your number lit up, and youre standing at the front of the elevator in front of everyone, FUCKING MOVE OUT OF THE WAY!!!)


2. Cory Feldman/Cory Haim. ( I saw both of you working at Dennys the other day. All I wanted was a Big Breakfast, then you expected me to know who you were, then I left you a bad tip and you yelled at me. YOURE FUCKING CORY HAIM AND CORY FELDMAN! JUST GIVE ME MY FOOD!!!)


1. James Blunt (When I dont sleep for a while, and the demons start to gather in my mind, I see you leading their attack on me. And then I realize I AM THE DEMON KILLER!!! SENT FROM THE GHETTO'S OF HADES TO DESTROY THOSE THAT WISH TO DESTROY US AND OUR MUSICAL TASTES! YOU ARE NOT ROCK MUSIC! YOU ARE THE EPITOME OF POP, AND I WIL BANISH YOU BACK FROM WHENCE YOU CAME!)