Well the weekend is now over, but in a much more realistic way, it actually isn't! That's right, tomorrow we have Victoria's Day off. But since I have it off anyway, it doesn't help me much. Don't you hate having holidays when you have the day off anyway? And don't you hate when your birthday falls on a weekend, and your phone would have been free that day anyway? I do. (my cell provider offers free calls on my birthday, and free evenings and weekends).
I find it amusing to see people who work for the weekend. They put in the daily grind for five days, and then just completely blow their money on booze or maybe lounge out in front of the television, counting down the seconds they have until they get back into their tedium. I couldn't do that. Which isn't to say I don't respect people that do, it's just that I couldn't go through that for my whole life, slowing being killed from the inside until one day I wake up and I'm 47 and I'm only a step above middle management and I have a Honda Accord and maybe a dog but no tangible achievements to speak of. Digression aside, I much prefer it when people that take a chance on their dreams. Maybe I'm getting older, and if I had a chart that had two lines, one that denoted my cynicism and the other my optimism, they would both be rising upwards and to the right. It is a delicate battle of two contrasting sets of ideals, but I'm trying my best. Sooner or later that third line of realism catches up with you, and that's the worst line of them all. No, I'm not drunk right now, not even a little. But to the four people that actually read this blog, kudos goes to you. Not every one of them can be a winner.
Gary's Fantastic Blog Top 5 HATE List TV Edition
5. "Trailer Park Boys" - This season has just been garbage, and it's not even a whole season! Here's a tip, don't let 15 people write the damn show!
4. "CSI" - They said they would never end up together! And then you see them in the bedroom together, and she is wearing a nightgown! For shame.
3. "Simpsons" - Their season finale's used to be good. Remember "Who Shot Mr Burns?" Classic! Now it's just randomness!
2. "Lost" - I'll never watch you, you damn show! I am going to be the one to kill Locke - in season 4!
1. "Canada A.M." - Specifically your April 14th, 2006 show. You know who you had on as a musical guest. You know your crimes.
Sunday, May 21, 2006
Sunday, May 7, 2006
This place smells like Otto's jacket!
I had the chance to attend the Strokes concert tonight, in a fairly VIP manner no less. We had front row seating, which was just off to the side of the stage in our own little area where we were elevated just high enough to see above everybody with floor admission. Superb! There was also not one but TWO barriers separating us from the rest of the riff raff down below, I felt like a Duke.... or perhaps an Earl... My only real problem was the people who just got wasted and were throwing up and slobbering around below us. People, if youre going to drink, learn how to hold your liquor! These werent young teenagers either, these were people my age! What was also funny was when a ballad would be performed and some people would stick their lighters up in the air. Yeah, I remember when they did that when people went to Def Leopard! Seriously, in a stadium full of people only about 7 people did it, and it was just sad, in a slightly amusing way. Julian had this ridiculous outfit on, these overly tight white jeans (which the ladies I went with didnt mind), and this stupid white jacket that had a chess board pattern across the back of it. Ha ha, if you ever get bored, just lay out that jacket and get into a rousing round of checkers.or maybe even chess!! The possibilities are endless. - If by endless I mean two different games. Concert rating C , my highest rating yet!
Gary's Fantastic Blog Top 5 HATE List 4th Edition
5) The Raconteurs (The White Stripes were a good band, and they only had one real musician, now there are four real musicians, and wow, its like the White Stripes times four, minus one for it now being a sausage party.)
4) People that watch the show Lost (ha ha, this applies to like every single person in the world. Im so sick of people talking about Lost around me, telling me how they love Lock and they want to be the mother of his child. Fuck that! Keep it to yourself!)
3) Tom Hanks (Whats the deal with that hair?)
2) Prison Break (Your show is called Prison Break! What happens when they break out of prison? Are you going to rename the show? Thats like calling Dawsons Creek "Will Dawson Hook up With Joey?")
1) Jessica Simpson (Shes an idiot, shallow, stands for everything that anybody with any sense should be against, and she has a crush on my mortal enemy - James Blunt!)
Gary's Fantastic Blog Top 5 HATE List 4th Edition
5) The Raconteurs (The White Stripes were a good band, and they only had one real musician, now there are four real musicians, and wow, its like the White Stripes times four, minus one for it now being a sausage party.)
4) People that watch the show Lost (ha ha, this applies to like every single person in the world. Im so sick of people talking about Lost around me, telling me how they love Lock and they want to be the mother of his child. Fuck that! Keep it to yourself!)
3) Tom Hanks (Whats the deal with that hair?)
2) Prison Break (Your show is called Prison Break! What happens when they break out of prison? Are you going to rename the show? Thats like calling Dawsons Creek "Will Dawson Hook up With Joey?")
1) Jessica Simpson (Shes an idiot, shallow, stands for everything that anybody with any sense should be against, and she has a crush on my mortal enemy - James Blunt!)
Tuesday, May 2, 2006
John Stewart is Dead!! (to me)
I may get a lot of flack for this, but I'm going to say it. Jon Stewart is now dead to me. It's true, I can't watch his show anymore. Maybe it's all the new and horrible wankjob correspondents, or just the fact that it's really just the same old nitpicks about politics time after time, but I can't really watch the show anymore. If there are funny segments, I can catch them online or while flipping through the channels in the afternoon, but no more does my PVR set to record his show. Perhaps there is also another reason for this changeover, and that may just be the creation of a slightly superior show set in the time slot immediately after his. That's right - the Colbert Report.
I won't sit and rant to you all about why I prefer this new breed of satirical programming, but perhaps I just find the whole "conservative view" on things much more hilarious. Even if that view is entirely faked. For an example of the funny, not from the show, but from Colbert himself, check out this link:
http://dailykos.com/storyonly/2006/4/30/1441/59811.
Here you'll see why I find Stephen Colbert Funny. This is a live speech performed in front of the President and his wife and the rest of the cabinet at the White House Correspondents Dinner. How they let him in to speak is beyond me. But enjoy!
Gary's Fantastic Blog Top 5 HATE List 3rd Edition
5. Black Cherry Vanilla Coke. (There used to just be Cherry Vanilla Coke, but now that theyve made the cherries black cherries, it tastes disgusting. Did they burn the berries and make them charred? Because thats what it tastes like. Garbage!)
4. People who are wearing scarves right now. (Seriously, its 20 degrees Celsius outside. In Canada thats considered warm. How are you going to wear a damn scarf not just around your neck, but ACROSS THE ENTIRE LOWER HALF OF YOUR FACE, and then bunker down as if facing some sort of apocalyptic blizzard??)
3. People in the elevator. (Heres a tip, when you get on, look at the damn numbers that are lit up. If there is a number that is LOWER than your number lit up, and youre standing at the front of the elevator in front of everyone, FUCKING MOVE OUT OF THE WAY!!!)
2. Cory Feldman/Cory Haim. ( I saw both of you working at Dennys the other day. All I wanted was a Big Breakfast, then you expected me to know who you were, then I left you a bad tip and you yelled at me. YOURE FUCKING CORY HAIM AND CORY FELDMAN! JUST GIVE ME MY FOOD!!!)
1. James Blunt (When I dont sleep for a while, and the demons start to gather in my mind, I see you leading their attack on me. And then I realize I AM THE DEMON KILLER!!! SENT FROM THE GHETTO'S OF HADES TO DESTROY THOSE THAT WISH TO DESTROY US AND OUR MUSICAL TASTES! YOU ARE NOT ROCK MUSIC! YOU ARE THE EPITOME OF POP, AND I WIL BANISH YOU BACK FROM WHENCE YOU CAME!)
I won't sit and rant to you all about why I prefer this new breed of satirical programming, but perhaps I just find the whole "conservative view" on things much more hilarious. Even if that view is entirely faked. For an example of the funny, not from the show, but from Colbert himself, check out this link:
http://dailykos.com/storyonly/2006/4/30/1441/59811.
Here you'll see why I find Stephen Colbert Funny. This is a live speech performed in front of the President and his wife and the rest of the cabinet at the White House Correspondents Dinner. How they let him in to speak is beyond me. But enjoy!
Gary's Fantastic Blog Top 5 HATE List 3rd Edition
5. Black Cherry Vanilla Coke. (There used to just be Cherry Vanilla Coke, but now that theyve made the cherries black cherries, it tastes disgusting. Did they burn the berries and make them charred? Because thats what it tastes like. Garbage!)
4. People who are wearing scarves right now. (Seriously, its 20 degrees Celsius outside. In Canada thats considered warm. How are you going to wear a damn scarf not just around your neck, but ACROSS THE ENTIRE LOWER HALF OF YOUR FACE, and then bunker down as if facing some sort of apocalyptic blizzard??)
3. People in the elevator. (Heres a tip, when you get on, look at the damn numbers that are lit up. If there is a number that is LOWER than your number lit up, and youre standing at the front of the elevator in front of everyone, FUCKING MOVE OUT OF THE WAY!!!)
2. Cory Feldman/Cory Haim. ( I saw both of you working at Dennys the other day. All I wanted was a Big Breakfast, then you expected me to know who you were, then I left you a bad tip and you yelled at me. YOURE FUCKING CORY HAIM AND CORY FELDMAN! JUST GIVE ME MY FOOD!!!)
1. James Blunt (When I dont sleep for a while, and the demons start to gather in my mind, I see you leading their attack on me. And then I realize I AM THE DEMON KILLER!!! SENT FROM THE GHETTO'S OF HADES TO DESTROY THOSE THAT WISH TO DESTROY US AND OUR MUSICAL TASTES! YOU ARE NOT ROCK MUSIC! YOU ARE THE EPITOME OF POP, AND I WIL BANISH YOU BACK FROM WHENCE YOU CAME!)
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