The Tale of the Black Coat

The proverbial pot is beginning to boil over, dear friends, and Angry Gary can’t keep the lid on it anymore!! GAHHHHH!!!!!

Today, my target is:

People that wear black winter coats.

For the record, no, I am not trying to seek out the largest demographic of people to alienate with my hateful rant, but it’s really starting to bother me how many people I see wearing the exact same black coat EVERYWHERE. I get onto my elevator, and it’s 6 guys in identical black winter coats. Oh, you’re so styling, oh, you’re so fucking unique you darkly-clad lemming! And then, why don’t we travel back in time to Stalin’s Russia since we’ll fit right in with everybody back there who walked around with identical coats on. I get it, the colour black (if you can call it a colour) goes with everything. I understand. But seek some variety in your styles people! If you only see the world in black(coat) and white(snow), then I guess that makes sense, but there are other options of black to choose from!

(Scene from a mall the other day)
“Uh, I’d like a ¾ length black coat with 4 3cm buttons up the front, please.”
“Um, yeah, you tripped over 7 of those just walking into the store, sir.”

It’s like walking into a Roots store and doing this:

“Uh, I’d like an article of clothing with the word Roots on it. Do you have that?”
Clerk punches that person in the face for being a fuckhead.


Brought to you by the coalition supporting grey pea coats.