Ok, yeah, it's christmas, I get it. But that doesnt excuse you all from my ranting! I was actually considering retiring from blog writing, at least in the ranty-sense, since I don't like being perceived as someone who is just angry all the time. Like 90 minutes of Lewis Black on stage - it starts to feel more like a shtick than anything else. And things have been going great for me lately, I don't really get angry like I used to. EXCEPT SOMETIMES I DO!!
I watched a very popular television program tonight, one that I have never seen, but only judged harshly from afar. This program is called Deal or No Deal, and yes you've probably heard of it, or are maybe even a fan of it. Well, allow me to opine! How does a show that requires absolutely NO skill give away so much money? And don't come back at me and say "oh, it requires skill, at the end, where the person has to decide whether to accept the money or not!" That isnt skill, dingus! I found myself cheering for the person to win one penny! That would be so cool, and also a burn! This whole show is just an elaborate version of a game I made up when I was 7 called "Guess the Number". No, I didnt have slutty girls, and no I didnt have a huge production budget. And no, at that point Howie Mandel was at the peak of his career as the voice of "Gizmo" in the movie Gremlins, so he wasn't available. After you choose the case, really, you're just guessing. It's all luck! One of those drinking birds could play this game. I'd cheer for birdy. I would want him to win the million dollars. Merry Xmas.
Top 5 blog of hate - END OF 2006 EDITION!
5. Rosie Odonnel. (nobody cares about your damn opinions, you racist donut! Here's hoping 2007 finds you banned from television!)
4. Christina Ricci. (How are you going to be in that awful looking sam jackson movie? Where you're chained up? Just terrible! Here's hoping 2007 finds you picking better movies!)
3. Tyra Banks. (The world will be a better place when you go crazy and take a religious sabatical in remote indonesia, no more panty parties! Here's hoping 2007 finds you living in a mud-slide ridden shanty-town!)
2. House of Carters (wow, terrible, my life has been wasted watching one episode of this show. Here's an idea for a reality show, take my dirty socks and put them in a mansion. Guaranteed ratings hit! Here's hoping 2007 finds you and the Backstreet Boys reaching the top of the charts once again!)
1. James Blunt in 2006 (you were voted #1 most irritating artist of 2006! yay! I agree completely with that award, except for the part about you being an "artist". Oh well, here's hoping 2007 delivers you the piping hot slice of obscurity you deserve. Watch out for me if I have a knife and agenda!)
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