Damn Hippies!

Alternate blog title:
"I Brake For Hippies! (once I've already driven on top of them)"

So I was in the drug store yesterday acquiring various miscellanies when I get in line behind two people with only a few items each. I thought to myself -

“Wow, only two people, I should get out of here fairly quickly! This is certainly a situation where my anger won’t be stirred to boiling point at all! Super.”

That thought quickly gave way to the reality unfolding before my angry eyes. A damn hippie was at the cashier, she had a small child of about 6 years old and an infant strapped to her chest in what I could only guess was a sack made of re-purposed hemp. Her unkempt appearance and stringy attire did not immediately catch my attention, until the following conversation unfolded:

Dirty Hippie Mother – (holds up pampers diapers box) “Do you have a brand of diapers called ‘Tree Huggies’? [I don't remember the actual brand she requested] It’s an organic brand, and it’s much better for the environment than these Pampers, do you carry that brand?”

Minimum Wage Cashier – “uhh, I don’t know…uhh…one sec let me call someone about that” (dials extension). Can you come up here at help a customer, Rico?" (hangs up and attempts to ring through the pampers)

DHM – “Oh no, don’t ring it through yet, I want to see if you have this other brand. It’s organic, and much better for the environment”

MWC – “Oh, ok, I’ll ask the stock guy when he gets here.”

Cut to anger beginning to boil over in Angry Gary. Cut to even more people waiting in the only line open. Cut to the hippie being unware of this because she's daydreaming about a world of flowers.

The stock guy finally arrives and has no fucking clue as to what this hippie is talking about. She then proceeds to hesitate for what seems like an eternity whether or not to buy the diapers for her hemp sack baby. Then she starts to say how they really should carry this specific brand, and that it’ll sell really well. I start to seeth, a little bit more than earlier.

DHM – “Yeah, ok, I guess if I have to take these I will”

The cashier proceeds to place her items in a few plastic bags and gives them to her. She takes the bags, walks ONE step to her right, and pulls out ANOTHER hemp burlap sack. She then proceeds to have her child help her remove all items (bulky ones at that) from the plastic bags and place them in the hemp bag. Here’s a fucking tip, Ms. Cheech, why in fuck’s fuck did you NOT ask the cashier to do this in the first place??!

I get up to the front, I had my two cases of pop with me. The cashier looks at me and asks me if I want those in bags.

Angry Gary – “Yeah, bag that shit up, in fact double bag it, the MORE bags the better!”

She gave me a snide hippie look with those dirty unkempt eyes and I thought she was going to say something. Maybe it was the red in my face, or my lips silently and slowly mouthing the words “fuck you” to her, but she bit her tounge. (which she probably enjoyed because it's organic). By the time I was out of there, she was still trying to organize all of her stuff into the ONE hemp bag she brought with her. I’m sure in the end she had to stick her box of organic granola next to her hippie baby. Poor children. It’s not their fault.

FUCKING HIPPIES!!!

Holy good movie, Batman!

Gary aint angry today, friends, cause Gary got three hours sleep cause he was out watching the new Batman movie at the midnight showing. What follows is my review.

Go see this movie. One scene alone pushed it over the top for me. Joker, in the car as it moves down the street, sticking his head out of the window, mouth open. It'll make sense when you see it, but the way it's shot, the context, the sound/music choice for the scene, it'll make you realize you're seeing something more. Something more than the garbage that is your usual summer blockbuster. Is it as good as Heat or the Usual Suspects? Easily. But it acheieves greatness using a different path. Yes, you will see things you've never seen laid to film. You will see characters portrayed in ways you've only ever wished for, but like little timmy at his birthday party only ended up with tube socks. No more tube socks for you Timmy, this is a fucking three-story high killing robot from the future that you can use to demolish your school and impress your friends. Happy birthday Timmy, happy fucking birthday.