Another Title: "I'll Park Right On Top Of The Mayor!"
Look upon him for he hath awoken and with his rise brings much hate and anger, and thou should not fear his words, but heed them to the extreme.
It is 2007, so let me welcome you to this glorious year of the Pig! I chose to celebrate the Chinese New Year this year, so happy New Year! Ha ha, no I didn't, I've just been busy with work, so this is my first blog of 2007.
But what is bothering me these days? Hmmm. So many things. So many little things, and I think that's what it's all about. The little things that get you down, that make you swear, that make me shake my fist out my car window at all the jerks that are allowed to have licenses.
One strike I say! One strike and you're out! (of a drivers license). You cut someone off? License cut up! You drive to slow? Cut! You don't signal? Cut! Be forced to take the horrible transit service we have in this city! With our THREE subway lines and our sketchy smelly buses. You'll make more room on the road for me and my new auto, and you'll make me less angry in the process. It's win-win! (for me.) I don't LIKE that I'm polluting the environment with my gas guzzler, but around here I really see no other option. Give me a viable transit solution, you fat cats at city hall! Make our transit system better than one typically found in Scandanavia!
They are proposing a new law similar to the one they have in London, UK, where you have to pay a fee for entering the downtown core with your car. Not really a big deal for me, since I live here, but I do venture out into the suburbs now and again. The price for the privilege of returning to MY FUCKING HOME? $20. Every trip. And if you don't pay the SAME day the price goes up to like $60. Then if you don't pay the next day, it goes up to $240. What the flying fuck is that? This wont help anything except to line the coffers of our already coffer-lined city.
Maybe I should get a seg-way...Segway all over the mayor!!
Ultimate Master Top 5 2007 Prediction Hate List
5. Britney Spears – First the tattoo, then shaving your head, and ducking out of your much-needed rehab three times. Prediction: Britney is serving me my lunch at Denny's in 4 months, struggling to make ends meet, while K-Fed enjoys moderate success.
4. Fall-out Boy & similar bands – I'm not being an old coot when I say that your music is garbage and anybody that listens to it has no musical taste. Prediction: You'll have a "falling out" with your fans when they wake up and realize that you're all just what Swing music was in the late nineties - a terrible fad.
3. American Idol – just terrible, I really only watch for the obviously set-up auditions, so I'm done with it now, but the crop this year is a healthy mix of gas-station attendants and soup testers. Meaning they need to stick with their day job. Prediction: It's the #1 show on TV in the U.S., which is very telling about the U.S. Therefore, enjoy your many seasons to come, American Idol!
2. Deal or No Deal The Videogame – How do you take a game that requires no skill and is really just a bunch of random number picking and make it into a videogame? Be really popular in the U.S., that's how. Once again showing their truly refined taste for television, this game interpretation of the show is just that, and can be played cheaper with a hat and some numbers written on pieces of paper. Prediction: Producers say to Howie Mandel: "No Deal."
1. James Blunt in 2007 – I think my blogs have finally gotten through to you, since you've been under the radar lately. I heard you popped your head out of your hole and didn't see your shadow, meaning six more months without James Blunt. Sounds good. Prediction: OB-FUCKING-SCURITY!
FIN
