Alternate blog title:
"I Brake For Hippies! (once I've already driven on top of them)"
So I was in the drug store yesterday acquiring various miscellanies when I get in line behind two people with only a few items each. I thought to myself -
“Wow, only two people, I should get out of here fairly quickly! This is certainly a situation where my anger won’t be stirred to boiling point at all! Super.”
That thought quickly gave way to the reality unfolding before my angry eyes. A damn hippie was at the cashier, she had a small child of about 6 years old and an infant strapped to her chest in what I could only guess was a sack made of re-purposed hemp. Her unkempt appearance and stringy attire did not immediately catch my attention, until the following conversation unfolded:
Dirty Hippie Mother – (holds up pampers diapers box) “Do you have a brand of diapers called ‘Tree Huggies’? [I don't remember the actual brand she requested] It’s an organic brand, and it’s much better for the environment than these Pampers, do you carry that brand?”
Minimum Wage Cashier – “uhh, I don’t know…uhh…one sec let me call someone about that” (dials extension). Can you come up here at help a customer, Rico?" (hangs up and attempts to ring through the pampers)
DHM – “Oh no, don’t ring it through yet, I want to see if you have this other brand. It’s organic, and much better for the environment”
MWC – “Oh, ok, I’ll ask the stock guy when he gets here.”
Cut to anger beginning to boil over in Angry Gary. Cut to even more people waiting in the only line open. Cut to the hippie being unware of this because she's daydreaming about a world of flowers.
The stock guy finally arrives and has no fucking clue as to what this hippie is talking about. She then proceeds to hesitate for what seems like an eternity whether or not to buy the diapers for her hemp sack baby. Then she starts to say how they really should carry this specific brand, and that it’ll sell really well. I start to seeth, a little bit more than earlier.
DHM – “Yeah, ok, I guess if I have to take these I will”
The cashier proceeds to place her items in a few plastic bags and gives them to her. She takes the bags, walks ONE step to her right, and pulls out ANOTHER hemp burlap sack. She then proceeds to have her child help her remove all items (bulky ones at that) from the plastic bags and place them in the hemp bag. Here’s a fucking tip, Ms. Cheech, why in fuck’s fuck did you NOT ask the cashier to do this in the first place??!
I get up to the front, I had my two cases of pop with me. The cashier looks at me and asks me if I want those in bags.
Angry Gary – “Yeah, bag that shit up, in fact double bag it, the MORE bags the better!”
She gave me a snide hippie look with those dirty unkempt eyes and I thought she was going to say something. Maybe it was the red in my face, or my lips silently and slowly mouthing the words “fuck you” to her, but she bit her tounge. (which she probably enjoyed because it's organic). By the time I was out of there, she was still trying to organize all of her stuff into the ONE hemp bag she brought with her. I’m sure in the end she had to stick her box of organic granola next to her hippie baby. Poor children. It’s not their fault.
FUCKING HIPPIES!!!
Friday, July 18, 2008
Holy good movie, Batman!
Gary aint angry today, friends, cause Gary got three hours sleep cause he was out watching the new Batman movie at the midnight showing. What follows is my review.
Go see this movie. One scene alone pushed it over the top for me. Joker, in the car as it moves down the street, sticking his head out of the window, mouth open. It'll make sense when you see it, but the way it's shot, the context, the sound/music choice for the scene, it'll make you realize you're seeing something more. Something more than the garbage that is your usual summer blockbuster. Is it as good as Heat or the Usual Suspects? Easily. But it acheieves greatness using a different path. Yes, you will see things you've never seen laid to film. You will see characters portrayed in ways you've only ever wished for, but like little timmy at his birthday party only ended up with tube socks. No more tube socks for you Timmy, this is a fucking three-story high killing robot from the future that you can use to demolish your school and impress your friends. Happy birthday Timmy, happy fucking birthday.
Go see this movie. One scene alone pushed it over the top for me. Joker, in the car as it moves down the street, sticking his head out of the window, mouth open. It'll make sense when you see it, but the way it's shot, the context, the sound/music choice for the scene, it'll make you realize you're seeing something more. Something more than the garbage that is your usual summer blockbuster. Is it as good as Heat or the Usual Suspects? Easily. But it acheieves greatness using a different path. Yes, you will see things you've never seen laid to film. You will see characters portrayed in ways you've only ever wished for, but like little timmy at his birthday party only ended up with tube socks. No more tube socks for you Timmy, this is a fucking three-story high killing robot from the future that you can use to demolish your school and impress your friends. Happy birthday Timmy, happy fucking birthday.
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
The Tale of the Black Coat
The proverbial pot is beginning to boil over, dear friends, and Angry Gary can’t keep the lid on it anymore!! GAHHHHH!!!!!
Today, my target is:
People that wear black winter coats.
For the record, no, I am not trying to seek out the largest demographic of people to alienate with my hateful rant, but it’s really starting to bother me how many people I see wearing the exact same black coat EVERYWHERE. I get onto my elevator, and it’s 6 guys in identical black winter coats. Oh, you’re so styling, oh, you’re so fucking unique you darkly-clad lemming! And then, why don’t we travel back in time to Stalin’s Russia since we’ll fit right in with everybody back there who walked around with identical coats on. I get it, the colour black (if you can call it a colour) goes with everything. I understand. But seek some variety in your styles people! If you only see the world in black(coat) and white(snow), then I guess that makes sense, but there are other options of black to choose from!
(Scene from a mall the other day)
“Uh, I’d like a ¾ length black coat with 4 3cm buttons up the front, please.”
“Um, yeah, you tripped over 7 of those just walking into the store, sir.”
It’s like walking into a Roots store and doing this:
“Uh, I’d like an article of clothing with the word Roots on it. Do you have that?”
Clerk punches that person in the face for being a fuckhead.
Brought to you by the coalition supporting grey pea coats.
Today, my target is:
People that wear black winter coats.
For the record, no, I am not trying to seek out the largest demographic of people to alienate with my hateful rant, but it’s really starting to bother me how many people I see wearing the exact same black coat EVERYWHERE. I get onto my elevator, and it’s 6 guys in identical black winter coats. Oh, you’re so styling, oh, you’re so fucking unique you darkly-clad lemming! And then, why don’t we travel back in time to Stalin’s Russia since we’ll fit right in with everybody back there who walked around with identical coats on. I get it, the colour black (if you can call it a colour) goes with everything. I understand. But seek some variety in your styles people! If you only see the world in black(coat) and white(snow), then I guess that makes sense, but there are other options of black to choose from!
(Scene from a mall the other day)
“Uh, I’d like a ¾ length black coat with 4 3cm buttons up the front, please.”
“Um, yeah, you tripped over 7 of those just walking into the store, sir.”
It’s like walking into a Roots store and doing this:
“Uh, I’d like an article of clothing with the word Roots on it. Do you have that?”
Clerk punches that person in the face for being a fuckhead.
Brought to you by the coalition supporting grey pea coats.
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Rock Band Review!
The following is my unbiased and totally honest review of Rock Band. For those of you that don’t know what Rock Band is, it’s basically guitar hero, but with drums and a mic added to the guitar/bass concept. For those of you that don’t know that game, please go fuck yourself.
That being said, THE GAMEPLAY consists of you starting a band, creating your character (you can change the sex/hair/body type/name/band name). You can have up to four players with you in the band of course, and then you pick your starting home city (London/Amsterdam/North American cities, etc) and you’re on your way. My name was Sir Guitar Rammer, but it wouldn’t fit on the screen, so I changed it to Dr. Stabs-a-Lot. The career is actually pretty involved, certainly moreso than guitar hero, you play local gigs, then buy a van so you can travel to other cities and so forth. It’s pretty fucking fun! GAMEPLAY – 9/10
THE SONGS in Rock Band are 10 times better than the guitar hero series. There are so many more songs we’ve actually listened to before, like garbage, yeah yeah yeahs, radiohead, nirvana, the clash and too many more. The song list is the best yet of these types of games, and there’s more coming out every week that you can download. I want the song “psycho killer” by the Talking Heads. SONG LIST – 9/10
THE GUITAR looks pretty cool, like a real fender from the 90’s, complete with effects switch and the wire coming out of the front of the body at an angle, just like a real friggin strat. It has the regular 5 buttons, but it also has the 5 buttons duplicated towards the body of the guitar, so you can solo up there if you’d like, since it will make girls swoon. And if you’re already a girl, you’ll swoon at yourself. But then you strap it on and start playing. And it all goes downhill from there. This guitar blows more than a windmill in Chicago. It sucks as well! Blows AND sucks, and that’s quite a feat. The buttons are unresponsive, the strummer doesn’t click, which I thought I could get used to, and thought would be better (aka, less noisy), the whammy bar feels likes its attached with twisty ties - it just all around doesn’t play well. I was missing notes that I KNOW I was hitting because the buttons started to stick a little bit. Quick fix – I went back to my guitar hero 3 guitar (which, unlike this rock band one, is wireless), and all was well. All your old GH guitars will work with this game, so no worries. GUITAR – 3/10
THE MIC was heavy, and sturdy feeling, and it was just that – a microphone. You sang into it and it translated your wailing into digital signals on screen, you know how those things work. Your pitch is measured (and judged) based on the song and the words scroll across as expected. Also, during parts where there aren’t a lot of vocals, it turns into a tambourine. Yes, like a fucking transformer. The only thing strange is that it’s a little stubby looking, but that’s more of an aesthetic preference. MIC – 9/10
THE DRUMS. Ooh boy. I set this thing up, sat down and it felt GOOD. Like I was back behind the skins again. OK, so I have been playing drums/percussion for 15 years now, and I would consider myself a professional. So I was a cocky punk, and picked the song “won’t get fooled again” by the Who. You know, the opening song to CSI: Miami. I also picked it on hard level. I figured hey, yeah, I can do this, piece of cake, go fuck yourself “The Who”. So the song starts, and let’s just say that the game bit my ass off, cooked it in a casserole and served it back to me. I fucking failed after 30 seconds! It really is nothing like playing drums. I mean sure, rhythm is integral, but after playing guitar hero for SO long, and being used to strumming notes on a guitar when seeing them come towards you on screen, it’s totally different playing the drum pads. Also, syncing the foot pedal was weird at first. So I tried “Maps” and got through it just fine, and after a couple songs I was used to the set, went back to The Who and kicked its ass – PAYBACK FUCK-HEADS!. A little bit of a learning curve on this one, but a very responsive set-up. DRUMS – 9/10
OVERALL SCORE – 9/10 (because I have a different guitar) Thanks for reading!
That being said, THE GAMEPLAY consists of you starting a band, creating your character (you can change the sex/hair/body type/name/band name). You can have up to four players with you in the band of course, and then you pick your starting home city (London/Amsterdam/North American cities, etc) and you’re on your way. My name was Sir Guitar Rammer, but it wouldn’t fit on the screen, so I changed it to Dr. Stabs-a-Lot. The career is actually pretty involved, certainly moreso than guitar hero, you play local gigs, then buy a van so you can travel to other cities and so forth. It’s pretty fucking fun! GAMEPLAY – 9/10
THE SONGS in Rock Band are 10 times better than the guitar hero series. There are so many more songs we’ve actually listened to before, like garbage, yeah yeah yeahs, radiohead, nirvana, the clash and too many more. The song list is the best yet of these types of games, and there’s more coming out every week that you can download. I want the song “psycho killer” by the Talking Heads. SONG LIST – 9/10
THE GUITAR looks pretty cool, like a real fender from the 90’s, complete with effects switch and the wire coming out of the front of the body at an angle, just like a real friggin strat. It has the regular 5 buttons, but it also has the 5 buttons duplicated towards the body of the guitar, so you can solo up there if you’d like, since it will make girls swoon. And if you’re already a girl, you’ll swoon at yourself. But then you strap it on and start playing. And it all goes downhill from there. This guitar blows more than a windmill in Chicago. It sucks as well! Blows AND sucks, and that’s quite a feat. The buttons are unresponsive, the strummer doesn’t click, which I thought I could get used to, and thought would be better (aka, less noisy), the whammy bar feels likes its attached with twisty ties - it just all around doesn’t play well. I was missing notes that I KNOW I was hitting because the buttons started to stick a little bit. Quick fix – I went back to my guitar hero 3 guitar (which, unlike this rock band one, is wireless), and all was well. All your old GH guitars will work with this game, so no worries. GUITAR – 3/10
THE MIC was heavy, and sturdy feeling, and it was just that – a microphone. You sang into it and it translated your wailing into digital signals on screen, you know how those things work. Your pitch is measured (and judged) based on the song and the words scroll across as expected. Also, during parts where there aren’t a lot of vocals, it turns into a tambourine. Yes, like a fucking transformer. The only thing strange is that it’s a little stubby looking, but that’s more of an aesthetic preference. MIC – 9/10
THE DRUMS. Ooh boy. I set this thing up, sat down and it felt GOOD. Like I was back behind the skins again. OK, so I have been playing drums/percussion for 15 years now, and I would consider myself a professional. So I was a cocky punk, and picked the song “won’t get fooled again” by the Who. You know, the opening song to CSI: Miami. I also picked it on hard level. I figured hey, yeah, I can do this, piece of cake, go fuck yourself “The Who”. So the song starts, and let’s just say that the game bit my ass off, cooked it in a casserole and served it back to me. I fucking failed after 30 seconds! It really is nothing like playing drums. I mean sure, rhythm is integral, but after playing guitar hero for SO long, and being used to strumming notes on a guitar when seeing them come towards you on screen, it’s totally different playing the drum pads. Also, syncing the foot pedal was weird at first. So I tried “Maps” and got through it just fine, and after a couple songs I was used to the set, went back to The Who and kicked its ass – PAYBACK FUCK-HEADS!. A little bit of a learning curve on this one, but a very responsive set-up. DRUMS – 9/10
OVERALL SCORE – 9/10 (because I have a different guitar) Thanks for reading!
Friday, June 8, 2007
Summer-TV Review!
Ok, so I don’t really know a lot of people that watch TV, but here is my angry run-down of the pathetic fodder spread out for the masses to consume like the salivating dogs they are/I am.
SHOW: On The Lot
PREMISE: Film directors competing by making short films every week. At the end they get a job working in movies! Just like Jorge who cleans the set after Hasselhoff has vomited on it.
REVIEW: Moderately palatable. There are some people with actual talent here, but to leave their fate in the hands of people that greenlight movies like Norbit as well as the people that go to the theatre to see movies like Norbit is just unfortunate. Here, America, vote for the person you think is the most creative. Oh, what? You’re voting for the “Hot Guy”? Or the redneck that made a movie about making of fun of developmentally disabled people? Grade: 7 pretentious soul patches out of 10.
SHOW: America’s got Talent
PREMISE: America has no fucking talent, just a bunch of people swarming around the spotlight like gnats, then cry when they get shooed away by other wannabes.
REVIEW: The greatest thing about the show is the fact that these judges make fun of children. Seriously, they tell these 9 year olds they suck ass and should give up their dreams. It’s great, brutally honest, and often painful to watch. Grade: I give it 7 future years of therapy out of 10.
SHOW: Canadian Idol
PREMISE: Let’s idolize a fucking singer.
REVIEW: Yeah, then lets all forget about them a month later. Can someone name a past Canadian idol? Ok, maybe you can, nerdly, but can you also tell me where they are NOW serving drinks? Yeah, Canada, jump on board the nationalism and lets all bond – FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES. Grade: 3 washed up has-beens out of 10.
SHOW: Canada’s next top model
PREMISE: Promoting eating disorders.
REVIEW: Canada has models? Or top models? Last time I checked any model worth her fucking ribs sticking out of her chest has moved from Canada to NYC or Europe. If you’re wanting to be a model and you’re stuck in Canada, you’re not a fucking model. You’re working the beer tent at the Indy 500. Grade: 2 finely sliced pieces of celery out of 10. And then they throw the celery up.
SHOW: American inventor
PREMISE: 1 person invents something that saves babies. 24 people invent a fucking beer hat.
REVIEW: This show is fucking hilarious! I have a hardy laugh when people pour their money and hearts into inventing a shoe with a FUCKING CLOCK attached to it. You sold your house and your dog and your wife, and all you have to show for it is a ticking sneaker. That’s sad, and fucking funny as hell! Grade: 8 broken down homes out of 10.
SHOW: Hell’s Kitchen
PREMISE: Angry Scotsman swears at Americans, makes fat men openly weep.
REVIEW: Again, it’s a winning formula here. British person tells off Americans. Plus I think there’s food involved in this one. Some type of cooking competition. Best line: “This food tastes Balls-awful!” Grade: 7 fucking swear words out of fucking 10.
Phew, that’s it. In summary, two shows with the word “Canada” in the title and two shows with the word “America” in the title. And one about movies. Bleak viewing indeed. I see why I know people that don’t even own a TV. Stay tuned for Angry Gary's review of the "Summer Crapfest of Cinema"!
SHOW: On The Lot
PREMISE: Film directors competing by making short films every week. At the end they get a job working in movies! Just like Jorge who cleans the set after Hasselhoff has vomited on it.
REVIEW: Moderately palatable. There are some people with actual talent here, but to leave their fate in the hands of people that greenlight movies like Norbit as well as the people that go to the theatre to see movies like Norbit is just unfortunate. Here, America, vote for the person you think is the most creative. Oh, what? You’re voting for the “Hot Guy”? Or the redneck that made a movie about making of fun of developmentally disabled people? Grade: 7 pretentious soul patches out of 10.
SHOW: America’s got Talent
PREMISE: America has no fucking talent, just a bunch of people swarming around the spotlight like gnats, then cry when they get shooed away by other wannabes.
REVIEW: The greatest thing about the show is the fact that these judges make fun of children. Seriously, they tell these 9 year olds they suck ass and should give up their dreams. It’s great, brutally honest, and often painful to watch. Grade: I give it 7 future years of therapy out of 10.
SHOW: Canadian Idol
PREMISE: Let’s idolize a fucking singer.
REVIEW: Yeah, then lets all forget about them a month later. Can someone name a past Canadian idol? Ok, maybe you can, nerdly, but can you also tell me where they are NOW serving drinks? Yeah, Canada, jump on board the nationalism and lets all bond – FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES. Grade: 3 washed up has-beens out of 10.
SHOW: Canada’s next top model
PREMISE: Promoting eating disorders.
REVIEW: Canada has models? Or top models? Last time I checked any model worth her fucking ribs sticking out of her chest has moved from Canada to NYC or Europe. If you’re wanting to be a model and you’re stuck in Canada, you’re not a fucking model. You’re working the beer tent at the Indy 500. Grade: 2 finely sliced pieces of celery out of 10. And then they throw the celery up.
SHOW: American inventor
PREMISE: 1 person invents something that saves babies. 24 people invent a fucking beer hat.
REVIEW: This show is fucking hilarious! I have a hardy laugh when people pour their money and hearts into inventing a shoe with a FUCKING CLOCK attached to it. You sold your house and your dog and your wife, and all you have to show for it is a ticking sneaker. That’s sad, and fucking funny as hell! Grade: 8 broken down homes out of 10.
SHOW: Hell’s Kitchen
PREMISE: Angry Scotsman swears at Americans, makes fat men openly weep.
REVIEW: Again, it’s a winning formula here. British person tells off Americans. Plus I think there’s food involved in this one. Some type of cooking competition. Best line: “This food tastes Balls-awful!” Grade: 7 fucking swear words out of fucking 10.
Phew, that’s it. In summary, two shows with the word “Canada” in the title and two shows with the word “America” in the title. And one about movies. Bleak viewing indeed. I see why I know people that don’t even own a TV. Stay tuned for Angry Gary's review of the "Summer Crapfest of Cinema"!
Monday, March 5, 2007
Bazooka-powered snowflakes attack!
Let me preface this tirade by saying that I work in media. I hold no general ill-will towards media in general, and my criticism of one faction of this large organization does not imply that I feel this way about any other aspects of it. Except for the fucking movie conglomerates. See a different blog.
That being said, I fucking hate those fear-selling alarmists that work for news outlets. For starters, I know it's worse in the U.S. than it is in Canada. I was watching a news broadcast from Seattle the other day, a live local newscast, and it may as well have been called the "Car Crash Hour with Jim Brewster and Katie Miller". Seriously, just reports of car crash after car crash. It nearly filled the entire news program. A fucking hour!
But I don't live in the U.S., and for now my attack will stay within the borders of my own country. Specifically directed at our local news outlets. Recently, we had a bout of cold weather, nothing terribly unusual for a country that's CONNECTED TO THE FUCKING ARCTIC. But no, the MAIN headlines (not the headlines on the weather page) of the website of a major broadcaster contained lines such as:
"It's here – a storm that is more terrifying than the movie poltergeist"
"weapons of mass weather system explodes over Toronto"
"Bullet-sized snow blankets city in terror"
And among my favorites:
"Murderous storm that killed in the U.S. will be here tomorrow to continue its rampage"
Those are actual quotes from various online and supposedly "respectable" news outlets. Even when the weather lifted and some warmth was on the horizon, the news story just changed to – "Don't get used to the warmer weather, the deadly cold will be back by the end of the week". Seriously. And it worked too. At work, people were freaking out to get home early. I was getting calls from friends and loved ones to come home immediately, as they feared for my safety. Thunder rolled in and several people in my office looked up to the ceiling and quivered. So their scare-tactics worked.
Of course, to anybody with any sense, this type of thing isnt a new or unusual idea. It's just sad that more people don't realize whats going on. That they buy into the fear. Fear sells, and they're moving it quicker than a black market Ipod at a Moroccan street vendor's stall. And I say, don't spend any rupees on it, just keep walking.
(Are there rupees in Morocco?)
That being said, I fucking hate those fear-selling alarmists that work for news outlets. For starters, I know it's worse in the U.S. than it is in Canada. I was watching a news broadcast from Seattle the other day, a live local newscast, and it may as well have been called the "Car Crash Hour with Jim Brewster and Katie Miller". Seriously, just reports of car crash after car crash. It nearly filled the entire news program. A fucking hour!
But I don't live in the U.S., and for now my attack will stay within the borders of my own country. Specifically directed at our local news outlets. Recently, we had a bout of cold weather, nothing terribly unusual for a country that's CONNECTED TO THE FUCKING ARCTIC. But no, the MAIN headlines (not the headlines on the weather page) of the website of a major broadcaster contained lines such as:
"It's here – a storm that is more terrifying than the movie poltergeist"
"weapons of mass weather system explodes over Toronto"
"Bullet-sized snow blankets city in terror"
And among my favorites:
"Murderous storm that killed in the U.S. will be here tomorrow to continue its rampage"
Those are actual quotes from various online and supposedly "respectable" news outlets. Even when the weather lifted and some warmth was on the horizon, the news story just changed to – "Don't get used to the warmer weather, the deadly cold will be back by the end of the week". Seriously. And it worked too. At work, people were freaking out to get home early. I was getting calls from friends and loved ones to come home immediately, as they feared for my safety. Thunder rolled in and several people in my office looked up to the ceiling and quivered. So their scare-tactics worked.
Of course, to anybody with any sense, this type of thing isnt a new or unusual idea. It's just sad that more people don't realize whats going on. That they buy into the fear. Fear sells, and they're moving it quicker than a black market Ipod at a Moroccan street vendor's stall. And I say, don't spend any rupees on it, just keep walking.
(Are there rupees in Morocco?)
Friday, February 23, 2007
Happy New Year - Time For Anger!
Another Title: "I'll Park Right On Top Of The Mayor!"
Look upon him for he hath awoken and with his rise brings much hate and anger, and thou should not fear his words, but heed them to the extreme.
It is 2007, so let me welcome you to this glorious year of the Pig! I chose to celebrate the Chinese New Year this year, so happy New Year! Ha ha, no I didn't, I've just been busy with work, so this is my first blog of 2007.
But what is bothering me these days? Hmmm. So many things. So many little things, and I think that's what it's all about. The little things that get you down, that make you swear, that make me shake my fist out my car window at all the jerks that are allowed to have licenses.
One strike I say! One strike and you're out! (of a drivers license). You cut someone off? License cut up! You drive to slow? Cut! You don't signal? Cut! Be forced to take the horrible transit service we have in this city! With our THREE subway lines and our sketchy smelly buses. You'll make more room on the road for me and my new auto, and you'll make me less angry in the process. It's win-win! (for me.) I don't LIKE that I'm polluting the environment with my gas guzzler, but around here I really see no other option. Give me a viable transit solution, you fat cats at city hall! Make our transit system better than one typically found in Scandanavia!
They are proposing a new law similar to the one they have in London, UK, where you have to pay a fee for entering the downtown core with your car. Not really a big deal for me, since I live here, but I do venture out into the suburbs now and again. The price for the privilege of returning to MY FUCKING HOME? $20. Every trip. And if you don't pay the SAME day the price goes up to like $60. Then if you don't pay the next day, it goes up to $240. What the flying fuck is that? This wont help anything except to line the coffers of our already coffer-lined city.
Maybe I should get a seg-way...Segway all over the mayor!!
Ultimate Master Top 5 2007 Prediction Hate List
5. Britney Spears – First the tattoo, then shaving your head, and ducking out of your much-needed rehab three times. Prediction: Britney is serving me my lunch at Denny's in 4 months, struggling to make ends meet, while K-Fed enjoys moderate success.
4. Fall-out Boy & similar bands – I'm not being an old coot when I say that your music is garbage and anybody that listens to it has no musical taste. Prediction: You'll have a "falling out" with your fans when they wake up and realize that you're all just what Swing music was in the late nineties - a terrible fad.
3. American Idol – just terrible, I really only watch for the obviously set-up auditions, so I'm done with it now, but the crop this year is a healthy mix of gas-station attendants and soup testers. Meaning they need to stick with their day job. Prediction: It's the #1 show on TV in the U.S., which is very telling about the U.S. Therefore, enjoy your many seasons to come, American Idol!
2. Deal or No Deal The Videogame – How do you take a game that requires no skill and is really just a bunch of random number picking and make it into a videogame? Be really popular in the U.S., that's how. Once again showing their truly refined taste for television, this game interpretation of the show is just that, and can be played cheaper with a hat and some numbers written on pieces of paper. Prediction: Producers say to Howie Mandel: "No Deal."
1. James Blunt in 2007 – I think my blogs have finally gotten through to you, since you've been under the radar lately. I heard you popped your head out of your hole and didn't see your shadow, meaning six more months without James Blunt. Sounds good. Prediction: OB-FUCKING-SCURITY!
FIN
Look upon him for he hath awoken and with his rise brings much hate and anger, and thou should not fear his words, but heed them to the extreme.
It is 2007, so let me welcome you to this glorious year of the Pig! I chose to celebrate the Chinese New Year this year, so happy New Year! Ha ha, no I didn't, I've just been busy with work, so this is my first blog of 2007.
But what is bothering me these days? Hmmm. So many things. So many little things, and I think that's what it's all about. The little things that get you down, that make you swear, that make me shake my fist out my car window at all the jerks that are allowed to have licenses.
One strike I say! One strike and you're out! (of a drivers license). You cut someone off? License cut up! You drive to slow? Cut! You don't signal? Cut! Be forced to take the horrible transit service we have in this city! With our THREE subway lines and our sketchy smelly buses. You'll make more room on the road for me and my new auto, and you'll make me less angry in the process. It's win-win! (for me.) I don't LIKE that I'm polluting the environment with my gas guzzler, but around here I really see no other option. Give me a viable transit solution, you fat cats at city hall! Make our transit system better than one typically found in Scandanavia!
They are proposing a new law similar to the one they have in London, UK, where you have to pay a fee for entering the downtown core with your car. Not really a big deal for me, since I live here, but I do venture out into the suburbs now and again. The price for the privilege of returning to MY FUCKING HOME? $20. Every trip. And if you don't pay the SAME day the price goes up to like $60. Then if you don't pay the next day, it goes up to $240. What the flying fuck is that? This wont help anything except to line the coffers of our already coffer-lined city.
Maybe I should get a seg-way...Segway all over the mayor!!
Ultimate Master Top 5 2007 Prediction Hate List
5. Britney Spears – First the tattoo, then shaving your head, and ducking out of your much-needed rehab three times. Prediction: Britney is serving me my lunch at Denny's in 4 months, struggling to make ends meet, while K-Fed enjoys moderate success.
4. Fall-out Boy & similar bands – I'm not being an old coot when I say that your music is garbage and anybody that listens to it has no musical taste. Prediction: You'll have a "falling out" with your fans when they wake up and realize that you're all just what Swing music was in the late nineties - a terrible fad.
3. American Idol – just terrible, I really only watch for the obviously set-up auditions, so I'm done with it now, but the crop this year is a healthy mix of gas-station attendants and soup testers. Meaning they need to stick with their day job. Prediction: It's the #1 show on TV in the U.S., which is very telling about the U.S. Therefore, enjoy your many seasons to come, American Idol!
2. Deal or No Deal The Videogame – How do you take a game that requires no skill and is really just a bunch of random number picking and make it into a videogame? Be really popular in the U.S., that's how. Once again showing their truly refined taste for television, this game interpretation of the show is just that, and can be played cheaper with a hat and some numbers written on pieces of paper. Prediction: Producers say to Howie Mandel: "No Deal."
1. James Blunt in 2007 – I think my blogs have finally gotten through to you, since you've been under the radar lately. I heard you popped your head out of your hole and didn't see your shadow, meaning six more months without James Blunt. Sounds good. Prediction: OB-FUCKING-SCURITY!
FIN
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